37. Keeping Perspective In Your Relationship With Your Partner

Hey, I’m Karyn – Your Relationship Coach 👋

Today, I want to dive into something that can transform how you relate to your partner – keeping perspective.

We’ve all been there. You’re upset about the dishes left in the sink or frustrated because your partner is late again. Maybe you’re feeling hurt because they didn’t notice something important about you. These irritations can easily snowball into something bigger, but here’s the thing: keeping perspective might be the most underrated skill when it comes to building a lasting and happy relationship.

Is it Really About the Dishes?

Think back to your last argument with your partner. Was it *really* about the dirty dishes or socks left on the floor? Or was it about something deeper? Often, we get caught up in what I call the "daily drama" – those small, annoying moments that feel huge in the moment but won’t even matter next week, let alone next year.

Maintaining perspective is key. Ask yourself, will this still matter in five years? Heck, sometimes the question should be, will this matter in five minutes? If your partner forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, is that a relationship deal-breaker? Probably not. But if they’re consistently showing disregard for your needs, well, that’s worth a deeper conversation.

Your Partner is Human Too

Here’s something I want you to keep in mind: your partner is just as complex, flawed, and human as you are. They’re going to have bad days, make mistakes, and sometimes say the wrong thing. Just like you.

When we lose perspective, we tend to hold our partners to impossibly high standards while giving ourselves plenty of slack. Can you think of a time when you were short with your partner because you had a bad day? Or forgot something important because your mind was on a million other things?

Learning to extend the same understanding to your partner that you’d want for yourself isn’t just fair – it’s essential for a healthy relationship.

Take a Step Back

So, the next time you feel yourself getting upset or frustrated, take a step back. Ask yourself: *What’s really going on here?* Is this about the moment, or is it part of a larger issue?

Sometimes winning an argument feels good in the moment, but what’s the cost to the bigger picture of your relationship? Keeping perspective means knowing that being right isn’t as important as being kind or maintaining a connection with your partner.

Look at couples who’ve been together for decades. Chances are, they aren’t keeping score or fighting to win every battle. They’ve learned to let the small stuff go and focus on what really matters.

Perspective is About Balance

Letting things go doesn’t mean ignoring issues. It’s about knowing when something genuinely needs attention versus when it’s just a fleeting frustration. By stepping back, you might see patterns more clearly or realize when an issue needs addressing. The trick is learning to distinguish between temporary annoyances and big-picture red flags.

So next time your partner does something that bothers you, take a minute to pause and look at the bigger picture. A small shift in perspective might be all it takes to move from frustration to understanding and compassion.

Until next time, take care of yourself, and take care of each other!