3 Essential Elements For A Successful Long Distance Relationship

Hi, I'm Karyn, your relationship coach with A Better Relationship Coaching. Today, I want to talk about long-distance relationships and three key things that are really important to have in place to increase your chances of having a long-distance relationship work for you, and also to help reduce the stress that is inevitably going to be there when you're in any relationship, especially a long-distance one. Long-distance relationships are more difficult, at baseline, for most couples. So here are three elements of a long-distance relationship that can make it healthy, successful, and easier for both of you.

First, I want to talk about trust and transparency. This is essential for a long-distance relationship because you’re away from each other more often than you're together. You have to be able to depend on your partner and feel comfortable doing that when you can't be together. This means being honest about what you're feeling and experiencing, and sharing that with your partner. Share your highs and lows, and don't be afraid to share the insecurities and doubts you have. These moments can actually create space for more connection and intimacy.

Second, it’s really important to be open and clear about expectations around communication. Having conversations about how you will handle communication when you're apart is going to be crucial. How often are you going to talk? Will it be by phone or video? How often do you plan on visiting each other? How will you handle conflicts when they come up? Will you be spending any quality time together, even when you're apart? What’s that going to look like—movies, playing games? Talking about all of these things ahead of time can really help make things go much easier and avoid misunderstandings. Even when people are living together, someone often thinks one thing, and the other person thinks something else. Both think they're on the same page, and then when it actually comes to it, there was no agreement, which can lead to a difficult situation.

This leads me to the third item I want to mention about long-distance relationships: the importance of planning and setting goals together—both long-term and short-term goals. Planning when you're going to visit each other, who’s going to travel where, and even sometimes what you're going to do or how you're going to spend that time when you are visiting each other can be helpful. Some people have the expectation that there will be mostly quality time at home relaxing together, while the other person may expect a more busy schedule of going out. Having general conversations about that so there is mutual understanding can be really helpful. Long-term goal planning is also important—not to plan everything out in every detail, of course, but to have some sort of shared vision of what each of you is thinking about the future in the next few months and, if the distance is going to continue that long, a year or longer. Clear communication helps avoid misunderstandings and differences in expectations that were never spoken.

So, remember three things to keep in mind with long-distance relationships: trust and transparency, communication, and planning. That’s it for this week. I hope this was helpful. Don't forget to hit follow so you can hear about new episodes every week when they come out and updates about Better Relationship Coaching. I have a lot of exciting changes coming up in the next few weeks. Also, head to my website and get your free workbook, *7 Questions to Connect with Your Partner*. Until next time, take care of yourself and take care of each other. Thanks!