Make the Choice to Have a Better Relationship

 Hi, I'm Karyn and you might have heard in the introduction to the podcast where I say there's never a better time to make the decision to have a better relationship. And I say that very intentionally, because I do truly believe that we make that decision to have a better relationship. So today, that's what I want us to talk about.

When we think about any of our relationships, whether they're romantic or our family or friends or at work, they really do form the foundation of our lives. They shape all of our experiences. Those relationships influence how we feel, and they really impact us significantly on a day to day basis. But have you ever considered that having a better relationship with someone is actually a choice, and it's one that we actively make all the time?

I want to start by acknowledging though, that relationships are very complicated and nuanced. Each of us has our own set of beliefs and values and life experiences, and when we bring all of that with us, anytime we show up to any interaction with somebody else not always going to be easy, it's inevitable that it's not always going to go smoothly. There's going to be conflict or disagreements. That's just absolutely going to be something that happens. And these relationships with other people make our lives better, right? That's why we have them.

So let's imagine that you're in the middle of a disagreement with your partner or your spouse. Emotions are running high. You guys are both upset, and it feels like you're at a breaking point in this moment. You have a choice, one that can either escalate it and maybe make things worse, or you can move towards resolution and trying to make things better. We've all been there, and you may have even had the conscious thought, as I know I totally have. You know, you can turn left or you can turn right with the next thing you say. And for myself and I definitely don't think I'm alone here, I have absolutely made that turn to the left, knowing full well it was going to make things worse. That is a choice that I've made many times actually in the past, and luckily I don't do that very often anymore.

I say luckily, but really, it's not actually about luck at all. In all of our interactions, we're making a choice about how to respond. How to communicate, how to approach any given situation. We often overlook this ability to choose in our relationships, and it's easy to blame circumstances or external factors or our partner. But what if we consider that every word spoken or unspoken is a choice, and it's these choices that decide how our relationships and honestly, how our days are going to go.

Having a better relationship isn't about grand gestures or extravagant displays of affection. It's really about the small daily choices that we make. The decision to really pay attention to our partners when they speak, to empathize, to forgive, to give the benefit of the doubt, to communicate openly and honestly. These are all the small choices we make every single day.

Also, the power of choice extends beyond our interactions with others. It's about the relationship we have with ourselves. Self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-improvement are so important for having healthy relationships with someone else. When we prioritize our own well-being, we can bring a more fulfilled and authentic version of ourselves to our relationships.

I do want to acknowledge, though, that this role of choice doesn't mean it's going to be easy, and there won't continue to be challenges. Disagreements, misunderstanding, and conflicts, like I said before, are inevitable. But within these moments lies the ability to approach them with opportunities instead of impossibilities. And I know you might hear that and laugh and think yeah right, but I promise it really is possible.

I want to say also that the choice to nurture a better relationship isn't just about one of you. This is absolutely a two way street that works best when you and your partner have the same goal. This doesn't mean that both of you are going to be on point every single day, but it does mean that, generally speaking, you guys are both on the same page and you're doing this together. It requires mutual commitment, respect, understanding for each other and the relationship. Because remember, each person's choices will shape the dynamic of your relationship.

So I'm going to wrap up and just ask you to reflect on your choices you make in your relationship. Are they nurturing and uplifting? Do they hinder growth and understanding? Remember, every choice, no matter how small, contributes to the makeup of your relationship. Next episode, we're going to talk more specifically about how we make those choices and what that could look like. Well that's it. I hope this was helpful and I'll talk to you again next week. Until then, take care of yourself and take care of each other. Thanks.

That's it for today. I hope this was helpful for you. Don't forget to hit follow so you can find out when new episodes come out each week. And if you're interested in working with me or just learning more about me, you can check out my website abetterrelationshipcoaching.com. Thank you so much. Until next time, take care.