5 Reasons To Work With A Relationship Coach

Hi, I'm Karyn You're couples therapist and relationship coach with A Better Relationship Coaching. And today, I to talk about five reasons that couples come in to see me to get help with their relationship.

So the first one is, and you've heard me talk about this a number of times in past episodes, communication, this is probably the number one reason that couples come in. They say they need help with communication. That can really mean a lot of different things. But frequently what we're looking at is really people coming in feeling unheard, unseen, that they just really can't get through what they might consider to be a normal day to day conversation without there being tension or misunderstanding and really wanting to work on that. And that's absolutely very doable.

There are a lot of things you can do to have better communication. And so working with a coach can be a great way to learn those skills and learn how to implement them into your relationship. That can also be tricky to do something different than what you've been doing up until now, right? Because you've probably been doing that for such a long time. It's very second hand and you don't even maybe realize you're doing some of these things and it can be difficult to implement these new skills.  But working with a relationship coach can be very helpful for starting to learn how to do things differently and really putting them into practice.

That's kind of bringing up this second reason that couples will come in to see me. And this is really maybe even something they don't realize what is happening. But to break this cycle and that cycle, you know what it is. If you think about your relationship, we all have a way that we show up. And a lot of times with couples, it's just the same thing over and over again and you're just kind of repeating the same cycle when you're fighting or arguing.

You have this cycle of harmony, disharmony and repair. Every couple has this, and if you think about what that looks like for you and your relationship, it's probably very similar all the time. And I think what most of the time couples are needing help with is that repair process. What I see very commonly is there is not actually active repair. What happens is there is a fight or an argument. And because we're not really taught how to repair, we don't necessarily do it well or do it at all. So I just kind of I refer to it as like slinking back into your normal day to day life.... So you may just not talk for a few hours or a few days, and then eventually time goes by and you just kind of slink back into your normal day to day life and things resume back to normal until something comes up. And then we have that cycle of arguing again.

So that's not really. The way that you have to do it. There are ways you can learn to have active repair, to be able to come out of those situations more quickly and more effectively. So you're not waiting for it to just kind of happen on its own without having that discomfort of going back and apologizing or talking about it when you're not really sure how to do that. So that's a great reason to seek help from a relationship coach.

Another reason that people will come to see me is because they feel like they've drifted apart. They've kind of gone into roommate mode and they just don't feel that connection that they used to have. And so this is another great reason to get help. If you feel like you've tried to work on this on your own and it's just not working, sometimes having help to look at your situation, look at your relationship, see what's going on. you can make these changes, but you just may need someone else to be able to look in and help guide you through this.

And then the last two are kind of related and it's getting through something that's coming up that, you know, is going to be a difficult situation or getting through something that's happened in the past that has been a very difficult situation. So I've seen couples that are going to be having like a family event with extended family, they know it's going to be really stressful and they want to have a really good plan for how they're going to navigate that together so that they're not going to let that tension and stress that is possibly there impact their relationship, so that they can keep a good foundation while they're going into this event that they know is going to be really stressful. That can be the holidays. It can be a family vacation. Different things. People have come to see me for help with that.

And then, of course, something that's happened in the past. Maybe you've tried to work through this on your own and it hasn't been effective. Maybe you just haven't dealt with it at all. This can be infidelity it can be secrecy. Regarding finances, a lot of different reasons that couples have come to see me to learn how to be able to come together after having gone through a really difficult experience.

Okay. So those are five reasons that couples will come to work with me as a relationship coach. If you feel like you need help with any of those or something else, feel free to reach out to me at abetterrelationshipcoaching.com and schedule of free consultation.

Karyn Spetz: That is it for this week. I hope it was helpful. Until next time, take care of yourself and take care of each other. Thanks.